So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
