I need help removing her.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
