He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
