Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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