OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize