I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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