why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
