I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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