I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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