Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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