Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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