He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
