Who did Billy Mays play for?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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