tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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