And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
