i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
