His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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