sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
