Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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