she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize