hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
