Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
