so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
