I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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