so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
