S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
