2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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