I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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