I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
