Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
