Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
