At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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