the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
