He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
