sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
do nipples grow back?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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