i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
