I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
