nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
