she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
