my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize