is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
