So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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