you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
