I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
