woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Randomize