the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
