Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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