i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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