I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
