Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
