I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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