Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
