I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
