The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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