Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize