We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize