plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
