my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize