When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
