Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
